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The “toxic“ relationship

Updated: Nov 3, 2022

Having worked as a clairvoyant for many years it's not hard to a certain that the most common topic of reading remains the “toxic” relationship. Most of us unlucky people have experienced one of these at some point in our life. You know the one, they come on strong, tell you that they love you, suck you in till your hooked, then off they go!! Men are mostly (but not always) the biggest culprits of this, and it can be completely soul destroying to be on the receiving end of this. There are various different methods deployed here. Some don’t show love at the beginning, just a knowing that they are having an extreme effect on someone who is clearly very keen on them. The issue here is how we continue to get sucked in by this toxic situation. The interesting thing is it doesn’t seem to be an age-appropriate thing, it happens whether you are 16 or 65. We put our life on hold waiting for a call, for an interest to be shown or to be asked out by the person of our desire. Yet, when we have the savvy to try to move on, the phone goes and you’re back to square one!

The thrill of the chase seems to be the pattern here for a lot of people. Their own insecurities seem to be a large cause of this kind of behaviour and the reasoning often stems from a broken relationship where they have been on the receiving end of being hurt or it can go back a lot further, to their own childhood and insecurities surfacing from this time. There is also the chain of thought that there has been a past life connection with a particular person and lessons have not been fully learned, so they come back in again and still don’t learn lessons, hence the “soul mate” tag is born.

So why do we put up with it.? I am often asked, but” will he not just forget about me if I don’t contact him?” Well, why should he when it goes back to the thrill of the chase? It goes back to his wanting to take control of the situation again and know he still has the same effect on you…

Toxic relationships can work long term, but there has to be a completely different mindset from both of you and this involves talking about it. Talking through your issues and being honest with each other. Often, we are not ready to talk to the other person and be honest and these situations can go on for years. This results in low self-esteem issues for the other person and can go on to destroy future relationships. So, what’s the answer? Well, it’s about being comfortable with your own mind and body, loving yourself and steering clear of these situations. Being in control, taking no prisoners. Easy? Well, not of course it’s not. But it’s worth taking a few minutes each day to ask yourself whether you are in control and happy with your relationship. Good luck!

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